in the life of a ninja named Link

too much

Sat, 15 Oct 2011 22:51:05 -0400

theres too much running through my mind, im a piece of shit, i can’t make up my mind anymore about anything, i second guess evreything, i retreted into an unbreakable shell, fuck growing up, too bad i cant stop, i need those feeling agian, it was a better life then, wishing you had a job and your own place, and to move, its better dreaming, then actually do it

when i close my eyes all i can see is OUR furute together

Sat, 24 Sep 2011 00:58:33 -0400

thoughts suck

Sat, 24 Sep 2011 00:42:19 -0400

Honestly i feel depressed, i wanna relapse, I wont, i cant, but the feeling is there, so much shit has been going on evreythign is stressing me out, i cant handle all of this, the worst thing is the alone feeling, talking to you helps but when your gone its ju7st to much to bare, i love you soo much more then you will ever know, i cant wait till i can see you agian, but untill then ill be having a hard time with life, i dont know very m,any people here and i need to get out, but going out upsets you, and paranios you so i cant, i care to much, i hate seeing you upset, uh none of this probally makes anysence, man i just need to disapear from reallity for a while…

the truth is...

Tue, 20 Sep 2011 03:28:08 -0400

the truth is i cant live without you, there’s no way i could start my day without that first text from you, all’s it says is either good mourning or i love you, but its more important then the mourning cigarette or coffee, i need it to have a good day., i love you so much, and i dont wanna even imagine life without you, id be reduced to nothing, a vessel without a soul, you make me who i am, you challenge me to be better evreyday, it tears me apart that im so far away, but then i think of how much weve been through and how long youve held on, and honestly im so glad you have, i just wish i has the guts to tell you all the things i havent taken the time to say recently, its always just “i love you, and i miss you” instead of the true thought ” i need you beautiful, i miss you so much, i just wanna curl in a corner and hold on to all the memories we had together” sometimes youre surprized when i notice things, or remember things, i do becaus ei constantly think about you, and all of our memories, sometimes it makes things worse, but they made us who we are, and i know im ranting at this point, but i ask Do i really care? no, i could talk forever about you, i hate it when you say good bye, or i gtg, i hate that feeling of looking at my phone every 5 minutes, fora text that wont be there until i wake up, i hate it when my phone loses the call, or skype dosent work, but i love it when you answer evreytime, and i love it that you hate my phone and skype as well, theres just soo much love i have for you, sometimes its unbearable to be away from you, ill manage i know because in the end i get to marry you, and be with you every day for the rest of my life, sing to you when your sad, kiss you in the rain, get drunk at the bar and talk loudly how much i love you, and lay with you in my arms every night, kiss you in the mourning, i want it soooo bad i just can’t wait but i will if i have to becasue your worth all of iot, i just dont wanna lose you, please tell me you feel the same (this is only 1/4th of what i could say but i have to stop before i cry)

nostalgia- a longing for aspects of past life

Sun, 11 Sep 2011 06:38:43 -0400

im not same person i was a year ago, so much has changed, and i gotta be honest, there things i really miss, i used to go out every day, smoke drive fast in vehicle hang out with good friends every day, not give a fuck who cared what i was doing, party and just have fun, i feel like im actually growing up, and i dislike it, i want to fight it, but i already know it inevitable, there’s so many people i miss talking to and and going out with… i don’t know what happened between me and all of them but i wish we didnt stop talking, i also really miss Gloria, i miss seeing her, and talking to her and kissing her and holding her hand, quite frankly i miss alot of things, im in a new city, new family, new friends, new job, new life style, new responsiblites, soo mch at once

RUN AWAY WITH ME

Wed, 07 Sep 2011 00:51:14 -0400

leave it all behind, escape the bullshit, and just live, we can love each other forever, or drown in this sorrow, and fear, uhhh, i wanna tell you soo badllyyy how much i wish youd say fuck it and run, and be happy, instead we get to be missreble and hope things work out, i dont like that because theres no guarantee of hapiness, and because you just prove more and more, youll always let your mom win, what about when she says no more, and you have to leave me. or you reach the breaking point? youll leave, we could just be happy and not have to worry, but no you have please an make evreyone else happy instead of you and me… i hope you know what your doing

i need it agian, the poision, it seeps into my veins and makes evreything better, i fuckling miss...

Fri, 02 Sep 2011 21:16:43 -0400

i need it agian, the poision, it seeps into my veins and makes evreything better, i fuckling miss you , i i just wanna od and leave this place, the needle will be my tool and the black liquid my savior, i need that pinch to push the button to deliver the magic, that takes it all away, makes evreything better,

"i feel a tiny poke, i see the blood rush into the needle as i pull back, and in this case red means..."

Fri, 26 Aug 2011 20:47:21 -0400

““i feel a tiny poke, i see the blood rush into the needle as i pull back, and in this case red means go, so i push the button and 2 seconds later all the worries and pains in the world are gone” withdrawls suck… i miss you so much beautiful”

i miss you mom

Sun, 14 Aug 2011 22:27:07 -0400

dear mom,

I remember when you used to run me a warm bath when i was sick so i could sit in there and feel better, you would always check and make sure i was ok, i remember when we used to go to Florida every summer to the time share, and go to the water park leaky tiki. i remeber when i rode too far ahead of you on my bike when i was 6 or 7 and you got so worried and called the cops, i remember when you used to take me to Redemer covennat church and taught me to be a good person, i remeber when you used to cook my favorite foods, like corn and meetloaf, i remember when you used to say ‘i love you travis” before i fell asleep at night, i remember when you would give me the tootsie rolls from withdrawling money at the bank, i remember when you would take me to arby’s or pick me up from there cu z i worked there, or during 11th grade summer when you took in the mourning to the Nygren wetlands for my internship, i remember how you used to get a diet coke from mccdonalds evrey day, i rememeber how you loved me and always watched out for me, mom, i miss you so much , and i really wish i could talk to you one last time, to show you the aprrecation i have for evreything you did for me, and too let you know that i love you, you may be gone from this world but you still live in my memories and thoughts, and dreams, and heart, i love you

thoughts of a paraniod enigmatic brain

Tue, 05 Jul 2011 05:39:30 -0400

who would honestly miss me if im gone? im up all the time at night, cursed with not being able to stop thinking, i miss my mom, i hate my father, i dont know about the people around me, my friends dont talk to me anymore, am i just not good enough for people? the only one to seem to care is my wonderful fiancee, and even then i sometimes wonder, im in love with her, im tired of not being able to even call her that, because her mom hates me, there are scars that will never fade, you got in my head, i wasnt strong enough, so i became stronger, i was to feminine so i stopped showing that side, you were scared and paranoid i would do stupid things, so i stopped associating with people and i up and moved twice, I will do whatever i have to for you, i would give up my hopes and dreams without hesitation, i would (and am) walk away from my family to be with you, and to be honest im a realist, i know there is no actual guarantee that we will stay together that you wont find someone else, that you or i wont fuck shit up agian but even though i know this, i have to try because even if you turned and scorned me, without you i would be back on the street shooting up, and probally with some drug addict chick, or dead, you wanna know the truth? i hurt evreyday, i hurt because my mom died, i hurt because my father and that family dosent care, i hurt because im up at night thinking unable to sleep, i hurt because i still have cravings, i hurt because i fucked up so much i might not be able to un do it, i hurt because of the things you have done, and the things i have done, i hurt because i feel useless, not good enough, i hurt because people have walked all over me and hurt me and abused my trust, i hurt because i dont trust people as i should, i hurt because i miss you so much, i hurt because i have no one to talk to that i can trust, i hurt because i have to try so hard to get where i should be, but also everyday i love you more, i love you because i do trust you more then i trust anyone else, because you want to talk to me, you care when im sick or hurt, or upset, the thing is somedays i dont know how i feel about life or anything, exept the one thing i do know even in these times is that i want to be with you more then anything else and go to school, and build a better future for me and you, i want your mom to not hate me, i want to say fuck evreything and run away with you, get lost in the throughs of love and not give a fuck about anything exept me and you, i want to go to school, and learn so that i can make money and provide for you and i and have fun and go out and come home at night and sleep next to the most beautiful thing i have ever seen, i want to come back NOW and just get a job there and go to school in the spring, i want to make new friends to be close with that wont leave that wont abandon that will always be there, i want you and i to not be afriad or paraniod anymore and be able to tell each other anything without embaresment i want you to not be afriad that i wont come back or something, as im typin im fucking crying because i really need a) a hug from you b) a cigarette c) to not feel like garbage, when ever you read this, dont be scared dont be afriad, im not leaving i just cant hold all this stuff in anymore, im not mad, I love you, and i dont ever want to leave, i owe you so much although you seem to ignore that fact, therwes also probally alot of wierd typo’s, a huge part of me really wants to just delete all of this, but more i must say, on the subject of the future, no more bullshit, i want to marry you, i want to call you my wife, i want to go on dates, i want to look at the stars, i want to have to talk about bills, and car payments, and your aunts in the hospital or some shit, i want to go out with the “guys” (its in “” becuase i dont know who they would be) and have a beer, i want to sleep with you ( in both sences of it) whenever we want, i want to drink with you at home on saturday nights because we have sundays off, i want to have a family game night evrey so often, i want to have pets, and yes eventually kids(not now[just sayin]), i want to give you evreything youve ever fucking wanted, i want to go on nice vacations to hawaii and europe, i want to learn foriegn languages with you, i want to cook for you, and take care of you when your sick, and even the other way around, i want to go on walks at midnight, i want to watch movies with you, and listen to music, and live, love, laugh, dance, eat with you, i want to take you in my arms, and show the whole fucking world i love you, i want to have the holidays with your family, and my family, and sometimes just the 2 of us, i want to go camping for like a week without any sort of modern device (like electricity) and climb mountains, and go on ccruises, and go to amusment parks, and art shows, and concerts, and museums, and whatever else this world can event, i want to suport your causes, and build homes for the homelss, and donate money to charitys, i want to tell the guy at the bar who hit on you to back the fuck off, i want to tell women who try to hit on me(although no one would) that im taken/maried/in love/engaged, and to leave me alone, i want to try new and exotic food and drink( non alcholic, and alcholic) with you, i want to learn to be more romantic, i want to silly things with you, i want to grow old with you, i want to make you breakfest in bed, or breakfest b4 u have to work, i hope to GOD im not scarring you, its just too much to contain anymore, and i cant say all of it the words wont come out, AHHH this list could go on forever its much more then 29 lines, so far 71 lines, i dont think ive ever typed this much in my life, maybee i have i dont really know, the point is i love you, i know this started out as a badish note but its just what keeps me up at night, i have all the things that i thinka bout or go through my head in a day that i keep under lock and key for feer of revealing too much, or whatever, i could say more about EVREYTHING ive said so far but its already 76 lines and youve probally fell asleep reading it, IM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU BABE! dont leave… 77lines XP

"“I guess in the end, all I have is myself. And I don’t even want me…”"

Tue, 05 Jul 2011 04:05:03 -0400

“

“I guess in the end, all I have is myself.

And I don’t even want me…”

”

"I know what me last thought will be before i die… I love you"

Wed, 29 Jun 2011 00:44:06 -0400

““I know what me last thought will be before i die… I love you””

- Annonymous

I miss you more then you can ever know

Wed, 29 Jun 2011 00:42:43 -0400

Some times when i lie down to sleep at night, i cant help but cry a little knowing that my very bones are missing your touch, and when i think about you through out the day, i think of you in colors that do not exist, i want to scream, i miss you so much, i want to hold you, i want to kiss you in public, i wanna hold your hand, i want to tell you all the things that cross my mind, i want you to know how wonderful you are, i wish for you to know how beautiful you are to me, i wish you knew that i can think about the future without including you, i cant help but look forward to random bits of, i sometime wish i had the courage to tell you everything, i wish to be by your side everyday, i want to share my hopes for us wit you, i hate being afraid, i can’t stand not having you here with me, i may be miles away but i still fall more in love with you everyday, i love our long talks at night, i love it when you laugh, i love the sound of your voice, i love the way the second you say hello my heart starts to race , i love the way you love me, i love the way you get frustrated or confused sometimes, i love the way you hate my phone for losing calls, i love you, and i always will, no matter what, i promise i will always be there, i promise to always be faithful, i promise to put you first, i promise to be the one you love, i promise to always lend my shoulder, i promise to call back when i lose calls, or if you hang up, i promise to always say i love you and goodnight b4 bed, i promise to hold you close and never let go, i promise to say I’m sorry when Ive done wrong, i promise to follow you after a fight to apologize and hug you and tell you it’ll all be alright, i promise to never lose sight, i promise to always lend you my hoodie when your cold, i promise to think about you non-stop, i promise to cuddle with you every night, i promise to come back, and never leave again, i promise to be a good listener, i promise you to put all of my self in this relationship, i promise i will never change my mind, i think ive been rambling to long, and it probably all sounds dumb, but i can’t help it i just am so in love with you,and i honestly can’t imagine a day without you, i can’t even imagine where i would be without you, your my world, my everything, my shining star, my angel, my muse, my one and only and ok im done, I LOVE YOU

Photo

Wed, 29 Jun 2011 00:19:59 -0400